I’m going to share an unpopular opinion about women and orgasms.
And this is mostly written FOR WOMEN, but I feel like all the men here would benefit from it as well, in your own life and relationships.
A man could be doing everything “right”, they could be epic in physical technique, rhythm, stimulation, etc.
And still, you aren’t able to experience deep pleasure. Because your pleasure is mostly about YOU.
You and your relationship with your own body and mind.
And unfortunately, there are countless blocks we might acquire over the years that make surrendering into the experience of pleasure and orgasm more difficult.
Trauma first and foremost.
Years of conditioning, educational societal, religious, familial.
Subconscious shame can make pleasure feel impossible REGARDLESS of physical technique.
Nothing is wrong with you innately. You aren’t broken. But it’s also not your partners responsibility to do this work for you.
So yes, a man can do what he can to “give you” an orgasm, but if there are deep parts of you not able to be receptive to it, then that is on you.
And you’re not alone. There are so many tools and practices to open and trust more fully.
Placing a vibrator on your clit is one thing, and for most of us the easiest pathway to pleasure and orgasm.
But the deep penetrative orgasms require something DEEPER from you as well.
If you aren’t experiencing them it does not necessarily mean your partner is at fault.
It doesn’t even mean that you both lack chemistry or compatibility.
It could mean there are belief systems and stories and experiences your body and mind have learned to carry, that are ready to be let go of and transformed.✨
Nobody can take your sexuality or sexual expression away from you. It doesn’t matter how they’ve treated you or what you’ve experienced. Your sexuality will only ever belong to you, and any illusion of it being “taken” is just that...an illusion, a story.
